The same night I wrote my last post regarding Ed's great improvements, he suffered two terrible seizures within 10 minutes of each other. My mom was terribly frightened and called first my brother, whom she didn't reach, then a neighbor, who would have to finish his bath before he could come over, and then me. Finally, the neighbor and my brother arrived and were able to put him to bed.
Ed's seizures scared me too. My mom said they were longer and harder then previous ones. Perhaps as hard as the first two he had. After seizures, particularly hard ones, his strength is zapped and it takes time and work to get back to where he was physically and sometimes mentally.
We blame the seizures on the fact that his dosage of steroids were reduced. We immediately went back to the old dosage, as the oncologist had told us we could do, if the seizures came back or worsened. He's been five days without seizures now, and hoping and praying if or when he does have another one, it won't be as severe.
I saw my parents today. They both were in good spirits. The amazing thing is that my step dad has these setbacks, and yet his spirits are still high. He is pleasant and doesn't seem discouraged.
I think as long as my dad can help my mom get himself in and out of the bed, into and out of the wheelchair, help with basics such as toileting and eating and bathing, her spirits will stay up.
Today is Easter. Going to church today and hearing the message reminds me that we will all die one day, be it quick, be it slow. But the Bible promises we will rise again, as the Son of God did. And we will be healed and joyful and renewed. I thank God for this promise for Ed, and for myself, and all those I love and hold dear.
Mending fences is hard to do. My step dad has a major broken fence. His relationship with his first born son, Tony. To make a very, very, long story short, Ed lost contact with his son from his first marriage when Tony was about six years old. Ed, my mama, and Tony's mother could not come to any agreement about child support and visitation. I don't know alot of the details because I was just a child myself when all this came about, but I know my step dad went to jail for about six months for non-child support. In my heart, I know that it was not because he didn't want to support his son, but because he couldn't support his son and please my mama both. I am sure to keep the peace and his sanity, he had to do what he had to do. And so a young boy grew up without his biological dad and probably with a heart full of confusion, resentment and bitterness.
It is very hard to describe the volatile time during the first years of my momma's and Ed's marriage. For a long time, I thought 'her' name was a curse word. When her name was mentioned there was a fight and it was loud and scary and sometimes lasted for days with lots of screaming, shouting, cursing and upheavals. All I know is that after Ed came home from his stint in jail, our lives calmed down, we stopped moving every few months, and we were more 'normal' than any time I can remember. Tony did come to visit just a few times after Ed's jail time, but I guess Ed and his ex finally came to a point where it all just ended, sad to say.
Tony is 41 now. He has an illness of his own, and I don't know those details. Me and my younger brother and mom have questioned if we should contact Tony and let him know about Ed's illness, but we never knew, really, how to approach him or how he would respond, or how my step dad would respond. We didn't want Tony to lash out in anger and hurt Ed. We finally asked Ed did he want us to call Tony, but I think he was afraid too, of how Tony would respond, and/or how contacting him might make life more difficult for either of them. I am sure he was afraid how my mom would take it.
Someone, I am not sure who, told Tony about Ed. Tonight, he dropped by, unannounced, for a visit. My mom didn't recognize him, but Ed, laying in the next room on his bed, recognized his voice, even though as far as I know they have not seen or talked to each other for probably twenty years or so. (But I have learned since the original writing of this blog entry, he had some very limited, sporadic contact. I am thinking when Ed's Dad died some twenty-odd years ago.) Tony came by once when he his daughter was a baby...probably hoping he could form a bond with his dad through her. It didn't happen. Another time, just a few years ago, he came by to ask for help getting his mother a tomb stone. Ed wasn't home during that last visit from Tony, and didn't make an effort to contact Tony as far as I know.
According to my mom, the visit went very well. Now that Tony's mother is passed away, I think Ed and my mom can both relax and let him be a part of their lives. I think he needs to know his dad, even if it's at this late date; when they are both ill. I hope they can have some sort of relationship, even if it's strange at first, and awkward. Maybe they mend the fence. He said he will stop by and visit again soon. I hope he does.
Ed's seizures scared me too. My mom said they were longer and harder then previous ones. Perhaps as hard as the first two he had. After seizures, particularly hard ones, his strength is zapped and it takes time and work to get back to where he was physically and sometimes mentally.
We blame the seizures on the fact that his dosage of steroids were reduced. We immediately went back to the old dosage, as the oncologist had told us we could do, if the seizures came back or worsened. He's been five days without seizures now, and hoping and praying if or when he does have another one, it won't be as severe.
I saw my parents today. They both were in good spirits. The amazing thing is that my step dad has these setbacks, and yet his spirits are still high. He is pleasant and doesn't seem discouraged.
I think as long as my dad can help my mom get himself in and out of the bed, into and out of the wheelchair, help with basics such as toileting and eating and bathing, her spirits will stay up.
Today is Easter. Going to church today and hearing the message reminds me that we will all die one day, be it quick, be it slow. But the Bible promises we will rise again, as the Son of God did. And we will be healed and joyful and renewed. I thank God for this promise for Ed, and for myself, and all those I love and hold dear.
Mending fences is hard to do. My step dad has a major broken fence. His relationship with his first born son, Tony. To make a very, very, long story short, Ed lost contact with his son from his first marriage when Tony was about six years old. Ed, my mama, and Tony's mother could not come to any agreement about child support and visitation. I don't know alot of the details because I was just a child myself when all this came about, but I know my step dad went to jail for about six months for non-child support. In my heart, I know that it was not because he didn't want to support his son, but because he couldn't support his son and please my mama both. I am sure to keep the peace and his sanity, he had to do what he had to do. And so a young boy grew up without his biological dad and probably with a heart full of confusion, resentment and bitterness.
It is very hard to describe the volatile time during the first years of my momma's and Ed's marriage. For a long time, I thought 'her' name was a curse word. When her name was mentioned there was a fight and it was loud and scary and sometimes lasted for days with lots of screaming, shouting, cursing and upheavals. All I know is that after Ed came home from his stint in jail, our lives calmed down, we stopped moving every few months, and we were more 'normal' than any time I can remember. Tony did come to visit just a few times after Ed's jail time, but I guess Ed and his ex finally came to a point where it all just ended, sad to say.
Tony is 41 now. He has an illness of his own, and I don't know those details. Me and my younger brother and mom have questioned if we should contact Tony and let him know about Ed's illness, but we never knew, really, how to approach him or how he would respond, or how my step dad would respond. We didn't want Tony to lash out in anger and hurt Ed. We finally asked Ed did he want us to call Tony, but I think he was afraid too, of how Tony would respond, and/or how contacting him might make life more difficult for either of them. I am sure he was afraid how my mom would take it.
Someone, I am not sure who, told Tony about Ed. Tonight, he dropped by, unannounced, for a visit. My mom didn't recognize him, but Ed, laying in the next room on his bed, recognized his voice, even though as far as I know they have not seen or talked to each other for probably twenty years or so. (But I have learned since the original writing of this blog entry, he had some very limited, sporadic contact. I am thinking when Ed's Dad died some twenty-odd years ago.) Tony came by once when he his daughter was a baby...probably hoping he could form a bond with his dad through her. It didn't happen. Another time, just a few years ago, he came by to ask for help getting his mother a tomb stone. Ed wasn't home during that last visit from Tony, and didn't make an effort to contact Tony as far as I know.
According to my mom, the visit went very well. Now that Tony's mother is passed away, I think Ed and my mom can both relax and let him be a part of their lives. I think he needs to know his dad, even if it's at this late date; when they are both ill. I hope they can have some sort of relationship, even if it's strange at first, and awkward. Maybe they mend the fence. He said he will stop by and visit again soon. I hope he does.
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