Taking a Break

Edward was scheduled for chemo yesterday, Wednesday, January 13, 2010. However, he was so weak he decided to take his 'chemo-break' early. He was scheduled to have two more chemo treatments including this one, and then Dr. S was going to put him on a chemo break for awhile to allow his body to detox and build up strength again.

Unfortunately, Ed's body decided he needed that break sooner. He is so weak he is almost completely back to using the wheelchair for mobility, is sleeping a large part of the day, and can barely assist in getting himself in and out of bed, to the bathroom, etc.

Of course, like always, he goes back and forth in his degrees of weakness and abilities. Some days are better. Some days are worse.

My mother, his primary caregiver, who is 71 (72 later this month), is suffering from physical and mental exhaustion and depression. She's always been a physically strong person. I have seen her move furniture from one room of the house to another, but if you have never tried to move a person at dead weight, you cannot imagine how hard that is. My Granny weighed less than 90 lbs when she died, but I could barely move her from her wheelchair to the bed. Ed weighs 180-185 lbs.

Mama has barely left the house since Ed became ill. She stopped going to his doctor's appointments after the second visit because she doesn't understand medical jargon and when the doctor talked about hospice and dieing and such, she became very angry. I would rather she did not go to these visits. We have tried to coax her out of the house, tempting her with shopping trips, eating out, (which she has never liked or done very much), or even just to go out driving and looking around, but she won't leave the house.

She has kidney disease and had a stent put in an artery year before last, and I feel she doesn't go to the doctor like she should or take care of herself like she should, but she is not a child and I cannot force her to do things, especially leave the house. The only break she gets from Ed and caring for him is when some of us take him to the doctor for chemo or tests, or the once a month trip he takes to the bank with my uncle Mert. Everyone needs a break from care giving, no matter how much you love that person or how dedicated you are.

But back to Ed. His speech is down from 100% at the time of tumor discovery to about 5% usage. He can answer yes or no and sometimes you can make out a few other words. He is beginning to more and more confuse words. Sometimes he points to an object but that is not what he wants or is talking about at all. Sometimes he uses the wrong words for things. He sleeps a very large part of the day. His right arm (controlled by the left side of the brain, where the tumor is located) loses more and more use.

The doctor, Ed, and all of us, are hoping taking a break from chemo will allow his body time to detox, heal and grow stronger. He will be having an MRI of his brain on Monday, January 18, at Athens Regional Hospital. We will visit Dr Splichal the following day to get results. I ask for your prayers, that the tumor will be smaller than it was two-three months ago, when, if you recall, it had grown ever so slightly from the previous time.

My daughter sent me a devotional regarding the big 'C', cancer. The devotional says though we hate the cancer, we are scared of it, we don't understand it, and don't understand why God lets us suffer from cancer, we have to try to remember that all things are for the Glory of God. Though we don't like it, we hate it, it makes us sad, we are afraid of it...it too, has it's purpose. Here is an excerpt from that devotional:

'We go through suffering for reasons bigger than we can ever understand. We go through suffering so that ultimately God will receive the Glory'.

It is hard to understand, but we just have to keep the faith. In the meantime, please pray for Ed to have a good break from chemo, a healing and strengthening time. Please pray for my mama that she will seek help from friends, family, doctors and God. Thanks to everyone!