I Recognize That Scar

This Photo Was Taken About Three, Maybe Four Weeks After Ed's Brain Surgery. As You Can See, He Appears 'Normal", Happy and Healthy. No Obvious Signs of Brain Trauma. Even his Surgical Site is Hard To See Unless You Look For It.

While at work this past week, I met a young man with a horseshoe shaped scar on the side of his shaved head. I recognized that scar.

I do not know if all GBM patients end up with a half circle scar, but all the temporal-lobe patients I have met or seen photos of, do have this distinctive scar.

This Photo Was Taken Several Weeks After Ed Began Radiation. The Scar is Healing, But the Skin is Red and Blistered...A Side Effect of Radiation.

Dr. Walpert explained to us that the incision made into the skin is horseshoe shaped, then the skin is peeled back like a flap. Then a saw is used to cut out a circular portion of the skull. At that point, instruments can enter the tough membrane that covers the brain and the tumor can be reached and excised.

The young man I met last week appeared fresh from his resection (tumor removal surgery). His incision was well on it's way to healing, but still raised and red. The shaved area appeared to have about a two or three week regrowth of hair. He was fully informed about his diagnosis and his surgery. His mother accompanied the young man as he attempted to go about taking care of some traffic tickets he'd been issued a few months back. This would be normal as a GBM patient is informed not to drive until they are seizure free for six months.

I studied this young man and determined he had probably had brain surgery two or three weeks ago. That he was probably in the 'resting' stage of 4 - 6 weeks which comes after resection, and before chemo and radiation. Just like Ed was after surgery, he seemed for the most part 'normal'. Ed's hair had been long, and Dr. Walpert lifted the hair and shaved only the near circle shape where she made the incision. So that after surgery and replacement of bone (and titanium plate) and skin, his hair above the incision and the hair inside the skin flap circle fell down and covered the incision, making it difficult to see his battle wound. This young man's hair was shaved nearly the whole right side of his head. Not shiny and bald the way it appears when radiation makes the hair fall out. His speech seemed a little bit unsteady and perhaps ever-so-slightly slurred, which seemed to come after radiation began for Ed. But I did not know this man and his speech capabilities before his surgery.

I handled meeting this young man and discussing his disease quite well...him telling me about his, and me explaining that my Dad had this same this thing. His mother asked me . . . 'Had???' with such bright, hope-filled eyes. I looked at her and said quietly, 'Yes, had. He's gone now.' I didn't want to lie, and didn't want to scare this mother and her son either.

But the young man was not scared. At this point in our conversation he told me that he was a 'miracle'. That the doctor had successfully removed all his tumor, which was the size of a plum. He told me that all his doctors were excited and optimistic for him. I smiled, but at this point, I was slowly beginning to lose my composure. Because these were all things we were told about Ed's condition.

He saw my tears, and then he said, 'Do you know most people don't live past two, three, maybe four years with this cancer? Do you know it is the most deadly form of brain cancer? Do you know only one person in the world is known to have beat it, living 22 years?' I nodded my head yes. Yes, I knew all this. My tears came because I know our Ed was so full of hope, so full of belief in his ability to get well, so optimistic, and so full of desire to beat his disease and he so wanted to live. And yet...he is gone.

As he walked away from my payment window, he was grinning, He said 'I am a miracle, and I am going to be okay'. I answered 'Yes, you are, because you have God on your side'. He looked back and said 'Yes, I have God on my side'. 

I do not know this young man, nor remember his name, but I pray for him. Also, I am comforted to know that he knows God, and has faith in him, and that he DOES INDEED have God on his side. For the parents, spouses, children, friends, and other loved ones of GBM patients, I am sure there are times when this is doubted. But you see it in the GBM patient's eyes. Maybe it is God looking out of those eyes.