Forever Smiling

Ed's Famous Smile

I am so happy to report, Ed's smile is forever. He is in heaven, walking around with Jesus, talking about the things men like to talk about.

Some people called Ed 'Smiley'. It fits.

There were a few times I can remember Ed not smiling. Such as, when Bo was five, he was diagnosed with Rocky Mountain Tick Fever, I came home from school and Ed was crying. That was the first time. I was so bewildered.

The second time I saw Ed cry, was when me and Chuck were seperated for a few weeks, and Ed met me at the kids daycare. I told him I didn't think I could go through with it (divorce), and Ed cried with me. I think that might have been the first time he hugged me. (Yes, I was 31 years old.)

The next time I saw Ed cry, someone had hurt his feelings terribly. I didn't actually see him cry, but I heard it on the phone.

I saw tears again when Dr. Wolpert told Ed, and us, his family, that he had a brain tumor that would he would probably die from. But his tears came after ours, so I know it saddened him to see us so sad.

The last time I saw Ed cry, was after he'd been through numourous chemo and radiation treatments, and was told his tumor had grown back and that treatment was over, and we broke the news to Mama.

From that time on, we did everything we could to just make Ed comfortable and help him live the rest of his life in peace.

For all the tears I saw Ed shed in my lifetime, I saw a hundred fold in smiles and laughter.

He suffered tremendously the last two and half years of his life, but he never complained and didn't cry or show sadness unless he saw it on our faces first. 

I am very fortunate. When I remember Ed, I do not see tears in his eyes, I see a twinkle. I do not see his lips turned down at the corners, I see a smile. I do not hear sobs, I hear laughter. I see him whole, healthy and vigourous as he strolls down the streets of gold, walking with Jesus.